June Sacrament Meeting Talk

Today I am speaking about the sacrament and sacrament meeting. I have come up with 3 topics relating to this subject. They will be easy to remember because the acronym for them is PMS. P is for preparation. Preparing beforehand for the sacrament and sacrament meeting. M is for Meaning. Finding meaning in the sacrament. S is for sanctuary. Making sacrament meeting a sanctuary for all who attend.

 P. Preparation. When does preparation for sacrament meeting begin? How do we prepare? Well, the answers to those questions are going to be different for each of us and for each of our families depending on our circumstances.

 I’ll share a couple personal experiences of how my preparation has changed over the years. Our children are 19 months apart. When they were about 2 and 3 years old, it was quite a struggle to wrangle them during sacrament meeting. They would climb all around the benches, and want a snack, or need a toy. I’m sure you all know what I’m talking about. I found that trying to focus on Christ and the meaning of the sacrament in the midst of their chaos was pretty much futile. But I was determined to find a way to make the sacrament meaningful to me. The answer for me was that the day before, on Saturday, I would find a moment to ponder. I would review my week, how I had seen Christ in my life that week, meditate on what I wanted to improve in myself, and look forward to taking the sacrament the next day to renew my covenants. Then, during the sacrament the next day, I didn’t have to come up with something to ponder while wrangling our children. Physically, my attention was on wrangling our children, but mentally, my mind and thoughts were calm and focused on my previous days’ ponderings and meditations. Anticipating that moment ahead of time proved invaluable to my spiritual health.

 Now that our children are 10 and 12, I don’t have to wrangle them. Much. But a year or so ago, it became apparent that Sunday mornings were not working for our family. All four of us needed to take a shower at the same time, children couldn’t find their socks, or their shoes, or both. We didn’t have the proper clean clothes, we were out of milk, scriptures were missing, and church starts in 10 minutes. It was complete pandemonium, and it did NOT help us get to church in a good spirit. So, we instituted a Saturday evening routine to help us be organized and prepared for the sacrament the next day. We have a checklist and make sure arrangements are made for everything we need. We are still not perfect. But we make an effort. And that’s what matters.

Spending time preparing for the sacrament in advance brings new observations and understanding. We all have the opportunity to discover a way to prepare to make the sacrament more meaningful for us in our current life journey. This brings me to my next topic.

M. Meaning. Discovering personal meaning in the ordinance of the sacrament. Each of us will have a different, personal meaning of the significance of the sacrament. And that’s exactly how it should be. The gospel and the sacrament are personal. When I want to get at the heart of the sacrament, I turn to the scriptures to see what Christ personally said about it. In Matthew 26 Jesus says it is as simple as reminding us of him. Christ is our bread of life. He is our living water. Christ is as essential to life as the sustenance of bread and water are to life. Or maybe it is better expressed that bread and water are as essential to life as Christ is.

 As Mormons, we occasionally snicker at the Catholic communion and transubstantiation. The notion that the bread and wine literally become the body and blood of Jesus. And yet, what if we believed that each week at church we would literally be partaking of a part of Christ. That we would literally be taking a piece of our personal Savior into ourselves. Might that affect how we act? How we react? How we prepare for the sacrament?

 In the October General Conference Sister Cheryl Esplin, second counselor in the Primary General Presidency said: “When I partake of the sacrament, I sometimes picture in my mind a painting that depicts the resurrected Savior with His arms outstretched, as if He is ready to receive us into His loving embrace. I love this painting. When I think about it during the administration of the sacrament, my soul is lifted as I can almost hear the Savior’s words: “Behold, mine arm of mercy is extended towards you, and whosoever will come, him will I receive; and blessed are those who come unto me.”

The practice and ordinance of the sacrament has helped me learn to rely on my Lord Jesus Christ. I have had lots of opportunities to rely on my Savior. It is pretty easy for me to envision him experiencing my feelings. But at one point I had doubts. I have wondered if Christ could possibly know how I, a woman, feel in certain situations. How can he possibly understand my heart, my experiences, my feelings as a woman and a mother? He is not a woman! This seems to be a contradiction. And yet, it isn’t. Although a mortal man and son of God, he has felt what every woman and man on earth has felt.
 As Jesus was carrying his cross to Golgotha, Luke 23 tells us that many women followed him and bewailed and lamented after him. On seeing their grief Christ turned to them and said “Daughters of Jerusalem, weep not for me, but weep for yourselves, and for your children. For, behold, the days are coming, in the which they shall say, Blessed are the barren and the wombs that never bare, and the paps which never gave suck. Then shall they begin to say to the mountains, Fall on us; and to the hills, Cover us. For if they do these things in a green tree, what shall be done in the dry?”

 Christ had just performed the atonement and had felt the full weight of all the wickedness, sorrow, and pain that the daughters of the world would face. He knew that women would suffer and that their incredible ability to create new life would be abused and unappreciated. Knowing this, He told the women that they shouldn’t weep for Him but instead for what they and their children would face. He was saying to them, “if they can do this to me, the son of God, what will they do to you?”

 Sometimes I think about all the things that women and children suffer on this earth and my heart gets unbearably heavy. We live in a world where terrorists attack a school and gun down 132 children. A world where a 15 year old girl is shot in the head for advocating for girls’ education. A world where babies grow up in destitute orphanages. A world where female genital mutilation occurs. A world where people become the property of other people. It is overwhelming. It is so much, that I do not have the words to share my pain. And I believe in a God who understands all this. Yes, he understands. And he comforts.

But that is only half of the equation. I also believe in the divinity of a Messiah who gave himself up as a sacrifice to overcome all things. All things. Every terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad thing that has ever happened. Moroni says “May not the things which I have written grieve thee, to weigh thee down unto death; but may Christ lift thee up, and may the hope of his glory and of eternal life, rest in your mind forever.” I have faith in a God who is bigger and greater than any earthly pain. A God that sent His only begotten son so that every injustice will absolutely be taken care of by the atonement. That is a really, really big God. That is the God I worship during the sacrament.

 And that is the God I pray that every person who desires, has the opportunity to worship. Which brings me to my last topic. S. Sanctuary. In her book “Sanctuary,” Sister Chieko Okazaki writes, “A sanctuary is not a fortress that bars people from entering. It is not a mausoleum where everything is hushed and still. It’s a place of holiness, a place of happiness, and a place of love.” We can build a sanctuary in our hearts where the spirit is welcome to dwell. And we can also work together as ward members to make our sacrament meeting a sanctuary for all who wish to attend. As the true church of Christ, shouldn’t our people be the most welcoming? Shouldn’t our ward buildings and our sacrament meeting be the place where people feel the most accepted, the most appreciated, the most wanted?

Our Savior knows the value of not only a physical sanctuary, but also a sanctuary of the heart. Luke recounts in chapter 4 that Jesus returned to Nazareth where he had been brought up. On the Sabbath he went to synagogue and claimed that he was the prophesied Messiah. The scripture says that everyone there wondered at the words which proceeded out of his mouth. And they said “Is not this Joseph’s son?” They were all filled with wrath and thrust him out of the city, and led him unto the brow of the hill whereon their city was built, that they might cast him down headlong.

 So here is Jesus, after having relative success with his ministry in Galilee, comes back to his own people, a place that should be a sanctuary for him. And he is not only rejected. He is physically threatened. They wanted to push him off a cliff! He is able to miraculously escape, but what a betrayal.

Surely some of us have experienced this type of rejection from people we trust. People in our communities, in our families, in our ward, in our Young Women’s class, in our quorum, in our Relief Society. People that we should be able to rely on can let us down, people that should be the most Christ-like can occasionally exclude, can form a circle that keeps us out. Christ has been there. He knows what it is like. And yet, instead of keeping that distance and honoring the circle called exclusion, Christ carried on with his mission, pushing against the boundaries that excluded and creating new circles of inclusion, new circles of sanctuary. Several months ago Eva, and Wesley, and I memorized this poem by Edward Markham that I think illustrates this point:

He drew a circle that shut me out;
Heretic, a rebel, a thing to flout
But love and I had the wit to win,
We drew a circle that took him in

It is not easy to consistently create sanctuaries. Someone that personifies this ideal is my friend Sherri Park. She is LDS and she has also been involved with the LGBTQ community for quite a while. She discovered that there are many LDS members who also identify as LGBT who have the desire to attend church. To be filled with the hope of Christ. To find sanctuary. But they are hesitant to do so. They may have preconceived ideas about how they will be welcomed. They may feel awkward showing up after many months or years of non attendance. They may not want to sit alone.

 As a response to this, Sherri has organized what she calls “Sit With Me Sunday.” This is a way for LGBT LDS members to find a friendly face to sit with at church. Sit With Me Sunday is held twice a year, on the Sundays on or right before Easter and Christmas. Sherri invites faithful LDS members from all around the world to consider being willing to be a friendly face for these precious souls. She has set up a database of members, along with the time their ward begins so that LGBT members can search out a welcoming ward near them. I love how Sherri has seen a need, and took it upon herself to organize a circle of inclusion. And I love and honor those members who have taken it upon themselves to set aside their differences in order to provide a sanctuary for ALL of God’s children.

 Because creating sanctuaries is not just our leaders’ job. Or the teachers’ job. Or the home and visiting teacher’s job. It is your job. It is my job! I invite each of you to consider how you can set aside differences and create sanctuaries and circles of inclusion in your life.

 I will close with Psalm 63 as I feel it perfectly describes my prayers and my testimony.

1 O God, thou art my God; early will I seek thee: my soul thirsteth for thee, my flesh longeth for thee in a dry and thirsty land, where no water is;
 2 To see thy power and thy glory, so as I have seen thee in the sanctuary.
 3 Because thy lovingkindness is better than life, my lips shall praise thee.
4 Thus will I bless thee while I live: I will lift up my hands in thy name.
 5 My soul shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness; and my mouth shall praise thee with joyful lips:
6 When I remember thee upon my bed, and meditate on thee in the night watches.
7 Because thou hast been my help, therefore in the shadow of thy wings will I rejoice.

 In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Good times

The Halletts have been busy with various projects and celebrations. I share some photos of our recent happenings:

Wesley decided he really did want his two front teeth for Christmas!


Eva finally earned enough money to buy her American Girl Kit doll. No small task - that doll cost $119!! Here she is just after opening the box.


We have our first successful Arizona garden! The secret was a fall garden, not a spring one. I should say it's EVA'S garden because she badgered me until I caved and we planted. We have already harvested and shared radishes.


Alice has been busy with Pinterest projects. After Thanksgiving I decided I needed to pretty up the hallway. I also needed a spot for the children to show off their artwork and projects. Hmm. Here's the outcome. The end of the hallway has shelves for origami and other creations plus the frame with artwork:




The side of the hallway has a frame and hangers for artwork. I love the color we chose. It makes me smile.



(Sorry for all the amateur photos. Iphone pics + bad lighting + amateur photographer do not mix) The frames and hangers are all the same color even though it doesn't look like it. I used clearance frames, wooden hangers that were given to us a while back, and .77 craft paint. This was also my first foray into vinyl lettering and I am thrilled with the outcome. Our house is slowly becoming a home we love.

After that we had to think about Christmas. I loved this scrabble ornament I found on pinterest. But I thought they were a little plain and I knew we could make some cuter ones.


So we came up with these:




Adorable if I do say so myself. Originally we cut the tile holders to size, stained them, and super glued them on. But we ran out of the tile holders pretty fast so we painted some of Wesley's City Blocks pieces and I think they turned out great too. And please try to be surprised if you end up with some of these creations this season :).

We are so blessed. The Lord is so good and merciful. Through all these fun times and fun projects, I think of how the Lord has truly blessed us. And most of all he has blessed us with the gospel, a nearby temple, and his Son Jesus Christ.

Tissot

I've always loved the arts. Performing theater in high school, attending live symphony concerts, and basking in the art exhibits at BYU when I have the opportunity are some of my favorite memories. Thus it's no surprise one of my favorite times of the week is Picture Study time. I gather 6-8 works by a particular artist and we study one a week. I think we will study James Tissot next.

I first learned about Tissot at Education Week in 2010 when BYU had an exhibit of his religious works. Here is an extract from my journal about what I learned from that time:
"Tissot is an 19th century artist who never achieved great status, especially among the art movement. He grew up well off and was a very worldy, materialistic person. He had a relationship with a young woman who eventually died of consumption. In his grief he went to a a church. While there, he saw in his mind a vision of a grief-stricken couple who is surrounded by rubble. They are clearly not alright and in need of support. The Savior comes and sits by them and comforts them. After that epiphany, Tissot painted only to glorify God and he turned his life around. He painted scenes from Christ's life and printed the Tissot Bible that contained prints of his works...Most of all, I love his passion and testimony."

Clearly, I love this conversion story. But I also love the beautiful watercolors that have come from it. Sometimes I can tell a Tissot just from the clothing in his works. The beautiful fabrics and patterns he paints are a relic from his earlier, worldlier days. He visited the Holy Land twice in order to portray the scenes accurately.

Healing of the Lepers at Capernaum


Jesus Sits by the Seashore and preaches


What Our Lord Saw From the Cross


Christ on the Mountain


One of the works at the Life of Christ exhibit at BYU was "Massacre of the Innocents." It depicts Herod's soldiers killing the young baby boys in order to kill the next king, Jesus. It is a truly gory work that depicts bloody babies being hurled out a window, landing in a tree, and dozens of bloody children in a heap on the ground. It was shocking. I was truly overwhelmed with disgust of the subject matter and of how it was portrayed. Truthfully, I was disturbed. While the rest of the exhibit was testimony building and lovely, I couldn't get this one work out of my mind. Here it is. And keep in mind a copy on the internet does not do it justice (you may want to search "James Tissot Massacre of the Innocent"s on Google Images to see a larger picture).

This painting churned in my mind and I couldn't stop mulling over how depicting this scene could in any way point someone towards knowing Christ, except I suppose for showing a scene from his life. Then slowly, slowly, the pieces came together. The tree. The blood. The atrocities committed. Oh how could I not have seen? The precious babies spilling blood for Jesus, who will one day sacrifice his blood for them. The bloody children in the tree, foreshadowing the Savior's future atonement on his own tree. All that gore, just as Christ's blood will atone for the acts committed against the innocent. And the blood that must stand as a witness against Herod.

Now I can see this work, and I still wince. But I wince knowing that Christ has overcome all, even my own sins, the sins committed against me, and for the world.

Pinterest and Halloween

With Cody and Eva off at a daddy/daughter campout, Wesley decided it was time to do some crafts. I thought this would be a good idea as he wouldn't have the opportunity to turn into Mr. Destructo if we spent the day crafting. And as I had just registered with Pinterest the day before, I knew that was the place to get some crafty ideas. However, seeing as how we do not keep an abundance of craft supplies on hand, our only car was camping somewhere in the woods, and I don't have the patience for fru fru crafts anyway, our choices were limited to something that could be done with what we had on hand. Our first project was toilet paper pumpkins.

We placed the toilet paper roll on a sheet of fabric approximately 18 in. square (this is where saving fabric scraps, old clothes, sheets, and cloth napkins comes in handy). Wrap it up and stuff the excess down the top. Roll up a paper lunch bag, glue the end, and put it in the top of the pumpkin. Then I wrapped green fabric around some cardstock and glued it all together for some leaves. Felt would be easier and look good but I didn't have any. At first I tried to cut out a real pumpkin leaf shape but that was too difficult. The apple looking leaves are still cute and much easier to make. Next, Wesley wanted to do something with frankenstein. We had some green fabric so I suggested we do a toilet paper frankenstein.

We rolled the toilet paper in some green fabric and hot glued the back seam. Then tuck the extra into the holes. I couldn't find any black fabric or felt so I used an old black sock (really dear, you hardly wore that pair anyway!) and just pulled it over the top for his hair. I think it looks great. Tuck the extra in the top and then use an ultra fine sharpie to create the face. I think this guy is my favorite of the day. Ghosts were next on the list.

Canning jars and milk jugs rounded out our ghost families. We used glue dots to make construction paper faces on the jars and Wesley experimented with sharpies and paint on the milk jugs. He's so proud of his creations.

Picture Study/Art Appreciation

I found this at the library and I've been devouring it this week. It is a reference book so I haven't read the whole thing, but this book has really helped me understand the works of art we study in homeschool. It is fun to read a few pages at a time or you can just look up a subject. It is arranged alphabetically. Sometimes I wish it would go a little deeper into explanations but it is definitely a good starting point. I just love learning little tidbits such as that a pomegranate represents the Resurrection and that a Griffin can represent the dual nature of Christ - His divinity (bird) and humanity (lion).

I really could have used this book last spring when we studied Raphael. I would've known that "The Knight's Dream" shows Scipio's dream in which his grandfather appears and describes "the heavenly abode to which the great and honourable on earth are admitted." The sword and book respectively represent the active and contemplative virtues needed for a full life. The sprig of myrtle (symbol of Venus) offered from the more alluring virgin represents sensual pleasure, also a necessity for a full, harmonious life.



I also would have known that unicorns represent purity or chastity.



And I would have known the story of Galatea who loved the youth Acis, yet who was loved by Polyphemus, a cyclops. I would have known that Raphael depicted the scene of Galatea standing in her cockle-shell chariot on the sea, fleeing Polyphemus.



But now I know and I can use my newfound knowledge as we study Durer, Caravaggio, and Eugene Delacroix this year. I have a feeling I'll be checking this one out from the library quite a lot from now on.

Twaddle

Can I just say that I enjoy saying the word twaddle? It is a fun word! I always thought that Charlotte Mason invented the word twaddle, which she defined as dumbed-down, foolish literature. But I just googled it and apparently it is a word that originated in the 1780s and is defined as trivial, insignificant speech or writing. Lately I've been shopping thrift stores for quality books to send to my niece. Of course I know that many books sold today aren't worth looking at, but as I went through three bookcases of children's books, I found maybe 10-15 books that I thought worth purchasing. It was depressing to think that the majority of children are reading drivel.

Which books are twaddly?

To me, twaddle is one of those things that "you'll know it when you see it." I recognize twaddle when it is dumbed-down and/or talks down to children. Most baby and preschool board books are twaddle. Anything "abridged" should be avoided. But the most prevalent, and also the most distressing, twaddle items for children are ones that try to teach a moral lesson and also religious books. Many well-intentioned writers and also the consumer parents assume that if a book teaches a moral or is religious, it must be worthwhile. In my opinion, that is not so! Ms. Mason tells us that children should learn to hear the words of the scriptures from a young age and that their first exposure to scripture stories should be straight from the scriptures themselves. Some secondary sources may certainly be used, but I would look to see that they incorporate phrases and words from the scriptures and do not try to simplify concepts for "little minds." In our home we use only the scripture stories from the LDS online store in addition to scripture.

Which books are not twaddly?

Good, quality literature will challenge minds with beautiful, elevated language. It will espouse Ms. Mason's living ideas of "the great human relationships, relationships of love and service, of authority and obedience, of reverence and pity and neighbourly kindness; relationships to kin and friend and neighbour, to 'cause' and country and kind, to the past and the present."

Do not overlook the illustrations. I personally think there is such a thing as "picture twaddle." Look for well-illustrated books whose pictures are refined, and that develop an affinity and attraction for beauty.

Since I've lately been searching for books for Kindergarten and younger, here are some of my favorite Non-Twaddle Authors and Books for that age:

A. A. Milne (his books are a good example of literature that talk to children, not down to children)
Margaret Wise Brown
Barbara Cooney
A nice Mother Goose collection
Aesop's Fables
A Child's Garden of Verses
George and Martha books
Beatrix Potter
well-written and well-illustrated fairy and folk tales

A Twaddle-Free Home Library?

While there are certainly some books that are unquestionably good literature, I also think that each families' ideals will be slightly different. I come from a family with a great sense of humor and a love of fantasy and monsters (don't ask), so our list of favorite books that would probably not be included in Ms. Mason's canon includes the Sesame Street book "There's a Monster at the End of This Book" and Dr. Seuss classics like "There's a Wocket in my Pocket."

I've also found that children invariably receive twaddly books as gifts. I never disparage the gift but I've noticed that my children do not ask to read those books as often and when we do decide to thin our collection, those books are quietly disposed of.

When picking out books at the library, I usually allow my children to pick two or three books of their own choosing, whether they fit my standards or not. I then check out many other quality books and I think that over time children will become accustomed to good literature and will be able to discern what is twaddle.

Things That Work

I've been thinking of things that don't work at our house. (And I don't mean appliances that are broken.) Reason being to figure out how to make them work. That got depressing. So, to lift my spirits, I decided to make a list of things that DO work around here. Here we go:

Going at our own pace with homeschooling. Beginning of summer I thought Wesley would never read. Now that he's had a few months to mature, he's reading words with short vowels and I'm ecstatic!

Memorizing scriptures and hymns. As part of our morning meetings, we work on memorizing a scripture or hymn each week. This helped enormously when the children needed to memorize their parts for the Primary Program. They had them memorized within a day and I think were the only ones that had them memorized at the first practice.

Having a set day each week to get certain household chores done. A flylady idea that helps me keep up with clean sheets, towels, paperwork, coupons, errands, and shopping.

Reading scriptures before starting my day. If I don't do it first thing, it doesn't get done and I know it.

Spending the time to bargain shop. I've been yard saleing all summer and keeping an eye out for good deals and now I have almost all my Christmas shopping done. That will be a great load of stress I don't have to deal with come December. Not to mention the cost of Christmas is spread out over half a year so there is no extra expense during the holidays.

Love notes by text message. Now that we have unlimited texting, it's been fun to send (and receive!) love notes to the handsome hubby at random times during the day.

Now I'm gonna rip up the list of things that don't work, because having a list like that around just doesn't work for me.

Scripture Study

How do you study the scriptures? My own daily scripture study has evolved over the years from reading a chapter a day to reading fewer verses with greater pondering to studying the weekly Sunday School lesson with a journal nearby. After attending Education Week this year though, something clicked for me and I've been able to see the scriptures in a new light. I've been able to see the lessons the Lord has for me in a few simple verses.

I've pondered John chapter 5 verses 2-9 this week because I've been thinking about this awe-inspiring work by Carl Bloch that I was able to see at the BYU Museum of Art.



Verse 3 explains that there is a great multitude of impotent folk waiting for the moving of the water. However, Christ singled out one invalid to heal. Similarly, although He is the Redeemer for the whole world, He is still my personal Savior and is here for me individually in my time of need.

The next thing that jumped out to me was the invalid's reply to Jesus's question "Wilt thou not be made whole?" He answers "I have no man, when the water is troubled, to put me into the pool: but while I am coming, another steppeth down before me." He could not heal himself. He needed a Savior. I am an invalid. I am absolutely helpless to heal myself. I need a Savior to heal my sorrows, to comfort me, to take away my sins, and to redeem me from death.

I also noticed that this "great multitude" was waiting at the pool for a superstitious angel to come and trouble the waters when they could have been looking for Christ. What "pools" do I have in my life? A cupcake to cheer me up when I have a bad day. An opportunity to get out of the house when I feel smothered by my household duties. A good book to escape the hardships of life. Don't I really just need time to remember He who has already carried the cross?

Finally, what I love about the painting by Carl Bloch is that it shows Christ lifting us from darkness to light. There is no other way to eternal life, except through Jesus Christ who has given us all.

"Rise, take up thy bed, and walk."

8/2/2010 Fiction

I haven't started any new novels lately because I've been mulling over two of the books I've recently read: "David Copperfield" and "The Poisonwood Bible." Why was I left feeling let down after "The Poisonwood Bible" and yet felt fully satisfied after "David Copperfield?" While I believe Kingsolver is brilliant in her diction and word usage, there was something missing for me that I couldn't put my finger on. After pondering this for a couple weeks I think I figured it out.

I remember reading somewhere that all great fiction contains elements of the creation, fall, and redemption (if you know where this came from, do tell!). The girls in "The Poisonwood Bible" certainly went through the creation and the fall, but then they were left stagnant. They didn't come through their trials and tribulations any better than when they started. They were not able to make something good out of their difficult life. There was no learning curve and therefore no redemption. And that is what was left lacking. On the other hand, David not only overcomes his hardships, he learns about himself and becomes a better person. Maybe it's ridiculous for me to compare my life to a piece of fiction, but after prevailing over difficulties in my own life, I have no patience for characters that cannot bring about a change in their lives.

And I can now put this matter to rest in my brain and take this knowledge with me as I start a new novel.

7/17/2010 Help Save a Crazed Homeschool Mom!!

Proceed with caution! Crazed Homeschool Mom's Rant Ahead! I need serious help before I go insane. How do you fellow homeschoolers balance homeschool with housework and everything else that needs to be done in a day? It seems like it's either/or for me. I constantly feel like I'm drowning and can barely keep my head above water. Seriously, I'm not a perfectionist so I'm not talking about keeping a spotless house or spending 6 hours a day "homeschooling", but I just can't seem to manage both. Granted, I don't feel my children are behind in anything but I would really like to spend more time sitting down with them doing our CM routine instead of unschooling ;). Truthfully we have only gotten through half of last year's curriculum for first grade on Ambleside Online. I've read of some homeschoolers' glowing accounts of how they spend their day, but my question is - when do you clean the toilets? when do the trees get watered? who takes care of big projects like window washing, and when? Yes, I do flylady and my morning and evening routines help tremendously, but other than that I feel like I don't have time. And I've even sacrificed some of my frugalities this year for homeschool's sake - I took down the clothesline and I use Cascade Complete instead of the cheap stuff so I can just pop dirty dishes and pans in the dishwasher without rinsing. Waaaaaaah!

Some things that I need to feel complete and that either take a backseat in life or that put homeschooling on my backburner are:

Reading for my own pleasure/education
home projects like organizing closets
family history
taking care of my calling
blogging :)
working on the yard/garden

End of Rant. Phew. I think just getting that all out helped me emotionally. But seriously, if you have any inspiration, PLEASE HELP!!

7/15/2010 David Copperfield

About halfway through this book I thought I'd never get through it. The endless descriptions of seemingly minor events were tedious and I was finding it hard to stay focused. But I have to say that after a couple hundred more pages (my copy was 800+ pages!) I started to appreciate those "minor" events and the descriptive language. If I had known going in to expect an epic I may not have been so unnerved. What I loved about the epic is that you really get to know the characters. By the end I really felt that David's friends were my friends and his enemies my enemies. Dickens' greatest strength is the ability to bring characters to life and I loved seeing the characters grow throughout their lives. I also like Dickens' tidbits of truths he puts in such as

"There can be no disparity in marriage like unsuitability of mind and purpose" and

"It's in vain to recall the past, unless it works some influence upon the present"
and I can't resist one more

"Never be mean in anything; never be false; never be cruel."

Housekeeping

No, not the dusting, sweeping kind of housekeeping! I decided to start a separate blog to keep my frugal anecdotes and my intellectual poverties separate. So if you'd still like to be updated on my forever frugal lifestyle, go see Prudentpennypincher.blogspot.com (so far I have only transferred my frugal posts from here over there), otherwise just stick around here for my book reports and the Hallett happenings :)

6/25/2010 What you should REALLY be afraid of

I found this blog post and thought it was the perfect follow-up to my post about worst-case thinking. The chart is a little small and the fine print is hard to read but you will get the main message of "Fear this, not that." It perfectly points out that much of society today fears things that are hyped up but in reality carry very little risk in our lives.

6/24/2010 Making Do

We haven't had family pictures taken since...2007??? SERIOUSLY has it been that long?? You know I'm frugal, but I truly wasn't trying to save a few bucks. Honest! ;) So anyway, I was trying to figure out what we could wear for the pictures that would match or at least would go together and figured that we probably all have a white shirt of some sort. Jeans and white shirts in an outdoor setting would be cute, right? Well, we did end up buying Cody a white polo at Costco but that is something that he can certainly get a lot of use out of. Wesley didn't have a white top either but we were easily able to borrow one but if we hadn't been able to borrow one I would have gotten something at a thrift store and turned it into his Sunday shirt for the next year.

We had our pictures taken at the same time as my sister-in-law's family and she took our idea and did white tops as well. She commented that if she hadn't used that idea, she would have spent a lot of time coming up with something and then shopping all over town for the right pieces. That just reminded me of how my trying to live frugally has paid off in so many ways. In the past few years my frugality has taught me resourcefulness and brought simplicity to my life. I have learned to make do with what I have. If I'm in the middle of making a cake and realize I only have 1 egg, I make do with 1 egg and no one notices the difference. If I'm out of bathroom cleaner I make do with dishsoap and everything still gets cleaned up nicely. If I wear out my sandals, I make do without them until next summer. And just today, I noticed we were out of handsoap. I only buy handsoap for pennies on the dollar when I can pair a sale with coupons and they haven't been on sale recently so we were totally out. We have lots of barsoaps but I prefer not to use those for handwashing. Then I remembered we have half a bottle of bodywash (free with coupons of course) sitting in the cupboard because it just wasn't my favorite. So that got poured into the empty dispenser and voila! I was able to make do and now we have liquid handsoap without having to run to the store.

6/4/2010 The Poisonwood Bible

Here is my review of "The Poisonwood Bible" by Barbara Kingsolver which I also posted on Goodreads. If you're on Goodreads please "friend" me so I can see what you're reading! I love getting suggestions of new books to read that way. Anyway, her it is:

My overall opinion of this book is that it ranks right up there with The Grapes of Wrath. Kingsolver is not only an amazing storyteller but her ability to tell the story from 5 different perspectives and personalities is frankly awing. Reading the first third of the book depressed me and although I was amazed with the author's writing ability, I did not really enjoy reading it. At first I had little patience with the characters but I slowly got pulled in more and more and couldn't put it down. I had to see what would happen next. I especially wanted to read what Adah would say and how she would react to situations. I really liked how Kingsolver was able to show the congruency of the family's journey and the Congo's journey.

Random thoughts on the book:

I thought Rachel was a little 2 dimensional. Is anyone really like that? Maybe I just can't relate with her.

It is a very serious book. My comparison to The #1 Ladies' Detective Agency which also deals with an African nation - I like the Detective Agency books because although they have serious themes, they also include lighthearted ones and in the end are feel-good books. Although by the end of this book I was happy with the outcomes of the characters and felt that everything was "complete" it still felt very heavy. Which is not necessarily a bad thing. Just different. Kingsolver makes you think and ponder and her intentions are very different from the Detective Agency books.

I really enjoyed learning more about Congo. I am very ignorant of Africa's geography as well as it's political and economic situations other than the snippets I read in the newspaper. I always especially love learning about the people. One of my favorite parts was when one of the daughters realizes that the Congolese never feel sorry for themselves. They have to either work or starve. Even if they are disfigured, they take it as a part of life. Such a difference from America where we hold pity parties for ourselves and are quite able to stay in bed all day and be depressed if we want to. We have food in the fridge and a Walmart down the street and if we want to mope we can! I also liked how Kingsolver teaches that the Congolese are polite and have great kindness. The realization towards the end that the village leader Tata Ndu was in reality showing great restraint and politeness when he offered to take Rachel as a wife is a great example.

Reading about the father's tyrannical rules and his tyrannical God is very disheartening. Makes me wonder if there are people who really have his concept of a God. It was amazing to see a man devoted to God yet who really was not able to internalize Christ's atonement. I almost think that if I grew up believing in a God like that, I would do as Adah did and not believe. I am so grateful to have the understanding that little children are saved and do not require baptism if they die. I am also thankful for the understanding that all people will be given the chance to hear the gospel of Christ and that just because people die without hearing of it does not mean they will burn in hell.

Another depressing part of the book was reading about the United States' involvement with Congo's independence. I became so upset and had a very unpatriotic day when I read that part. Then I realized that it was not the "United States" that was bad, but a few choice politicians. It was a good reminder of our responsibility to choose good leaders and make as much of an effort in our government as we can.

After finishing this book I am inspired to read more about the Congo and its history. I especially would like to learn more about the diamond trade and business.

6/4/2010 Don't Pay Too Much For Your Whistle!

I came upon this excellent advice from frugal-living gentleman Benjamin Franklin. It is an excerpt from a letter he wrote to a friend. Enjoy!

"...When I was a child of seven years old, my friends, on a holiday, filled my pocket with coppers. I went directly to a shop where they sold toys for children; and being charmed with the sound of a whistle, that I met by the way in the hands of another boy, I voluntarily offered and gave all my money for one. I then came home, and went whistling all over the house, much pleased with my whistle, but disturbing all the family. My brothers, and sisters, and cousins, understanding the bargain I had made, told me I had given four times as much for it as it was worth; put me in mind what good things I might have bought with the rest of the money; and laughed at me so much for my folly, that I cried with vexation; and the reflection gave me more chagrin than the whistle gave me pleasure.

This, however, was afterwards of use to me, the impression continuing on my mind; so that often, when I was tempted to buy some unnecessary thing, I said to myself, Don’t give too much for the whistle; and I saved my money.

As I grew up, came into the world, and observed the actions of men, I thought I met with many, very many, who gave too much for the whistle.

When I saw one too ambitious of court favor, sacrificing his time in attendance on levees, his repose, his liberty, his virtue, and perhaps his friends, to attain it, I have said to myself, this man gives too much for his whistle.

When I saw another fond of popularity, constantly employing himself in political bustles, neglecting his own affairs, and ruining them by that neglect, "He pays, indeed," said I, "too much for his whistle."

If I knew a miser, who gave up every kind of comfortable living, all the pleasure of doing good to others, all the esteem of his fellow-citizens, and the joys of benevolent friendship, for the sake of accumulating wealth, "Poor man," said I, "you pay too much for your whistle."

When I met with a man of pleasure, sacrificing every laudable improvement of the mind, or of his fortune, to mere corporeal sensations, and ruining his health in their pursuit, "Mistaken man," said I, "you are providing pain for yourself, instead of pleasure; you give too much for your whistle."

If I see one fond of appearance, or fine clothes, fine houses, fine furniture, fine equipages, all above his fortune, for which he contracts debts, and ends his career in a prison, "Alas!" say I, "he has paid dear, very dear, for his whistle."

When I see a beautiful sweet-tempered girl married to an ill-natured brute of a husband, "What a pity," say I, "that she should pay so much for a whistle!"

In short, I conceive that great part of the miseries of mankind are brought upon them by the false estimates they have made of the value of things, and by their giving too much for their whistles.

5/18/2010 Worst-Case Thinking

I just read this brilliant article by Bruce Schneier on his security blog. I think his comments can be applied to many circumstances but when I read it I immediately thought of my "free-range kids" philosophy.

He says: "There's a certain blindness that comes from worst-case thinking. An extension of the precautionary principle, it involves imagining the worst possible outcome and then acting as if it were a certainty. It substitutes imagination for thinking, speculation for risk analysis, and fear for reason. It fosters powerlessness and vulnerability and magnifies social paralysis." This reminded me of a couple years ago when we were at Chuck E. Cheese and Eva had to go to the bathroom. I remember thinking "I should escort her in because you NEVER know, there may just be a predator in the restroom just waiting for a vulnerable child to walk in." Let the nightmare begin!

Schneier continues: "Worst-case thinking means generally bad decision making for several reasons. First, it's only half of the cost-benefit equation. Every decision has costs and benefits, risks and rewards. By speculating about what can possibly go wrong, and then acting as if that is likely to happen, worst-case thinking focuses only on the extreme but improbable risks and does a poor job at assessing outcomes."
This is where the "What if" game comes into play. What if Eva goes in the restroom by herself and someone smuggles her out of Chuck E. Cheese and kidnaps her?? What if some pervert is in there waiting for her?? Yet, no one ever asks the OTHER What ifs: What if I let Eva go to the bathroom herself because she is perfectly capable?? What if she learns to be confident and self-reliant?? What if she learns that she can be trusted?? What if she learns some common sense?? Too bad society rarely asks these questions about what our children GAIN by letting go of too much fear-mongering, worst-case thinking.

And by the way, I let my 5 year old daughter go to the restroom by herself and she came out grinning.

5/10/2010 broken glass door

Here's one pic that shows part of the damage Wes did to our sliding glass door (we think he did it with a wrench). There are two large holes like this and the crack goes all the way from the top to the bottom and from side to side. We have now duct taped the cracks and will be taking out the glass doors and putting in a regular door which we had plans to do someday anyway.

5/9/2010 For the Mothers...

I spoke in sacrament meeting today. This was my third time to speak on Mother's Day. What a treat! Since this talk has taken up all my free time from the last couple weeks, I am posting it here.

MOTHERS WHO KNOW

Several years ago Pres. Hinckley quoted E.T. Sullivan in the Ensign as saying
“When God wants a great work done in the world or a great wrong righted, he goes about it in a very unusual way. He doesn’t stir up his earthquakes or send forth his thunderbolts. Instead, he has a helpless baby born, perhaps in a simple home and of some obscure mother. And then God puts the idea into the mother’s heart, and she puts it into the baby’s mind. And then God waits. The greatest forces in the world are not the earthquakes and the thunderbolts. The greatest forces in the world are babies.”

This has become one of my favorite quotes because although I may consider my efforts as of little consequence, when I think of all the faithful mothers around the globe I realize the great force for good we can be. I am both humbled and proud to be a part of that group. I am grateful for this divine role. This is a role that was bestowed to each and every righteous woman premortally. Sister Sheri L. Dew said in general conference in Oct. 2001 that “both God the Father and Adam called Eve “the mother of all living”—and they did so before she ever bore a child. Like Eve, our motherhood began before we were born. Motherhood is more than bearing children, though it is certainly that. It is the essence of who we are as women. It defines our very identity, our divine stature and nature, and the unique traits our Father gave us.” Sister Dew appropriately titled her talk “Are We Not All Mothers?”
So as I speak today of mothers, I am speaking to every woman here.

In the book of Alma we read of a great army of righteous young men whom we commonly refer to as the 2,000 stripling warriors. In Alma 56:48 they tell their leader Helaman “we do not doubt our mothers knew it.” I love this tribute these young men made to their mothers. Some of you may remember Sister Julie B. Beck’s talk a few years ago referencing this tribute by speaking of “mothers who know.” I would also like to speak of “mothers who know.”

Women and mothers who know understand that by serving God they are serving their families. Part of what I was asked to speak about today is how women in the church can learn to balance their lives. When I think of balancing my life I imagine myself being pulled in different directions. Yet I shouldn’t have different goals that pull me in different directions. I have one goal and that is to serve God with all my heart, might, mind, and strength.

One way mothers who know serve God is by standing strong and immovable in their testimony of Christ and sharing that testimony with their families.
My great great great grandmother Nancy Naomi Alexander Tracy joined the church in 1834 with her husband Moses Tracy. They were in Kirtland, Far West, and Nauvoo. While in Nauvoo Nancy lost two toddler sons and while crossing the plains to Utah she lost an eleven year old son. She never wavered in her faith and to me her actions speak of a testimony that is strong and immovable and has blessed her posterity for many generations. If it weren’t for her I wouldn’t be here today.

I don’t feel I have taken every opportunity to share my testimony. But I do remember a couple years ago as I was saying my morning prayers and asking the Lord what He would have me do today, I had a distinct impression to bear my testimony to my children. Later that morning after we had read scriptures together I told my children that I knew what we were reading was true and that I knew Jesus was our Savior. My young daughter looked up into my eyes and said, “I know you’re telling the truth.”

Let us declare and live our testimonies so that our families know that we know, as Christ said: “that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom thou hast sent.” I would like to go ahead and take this opportunity to bear my testimony of our Savior Jesus Christ. I know he willingly came to earth to take upon Himself our sins. I know he suffered in the garden of Gethsemane and on the cross. I know that he was resurrected and that because of His resurrection, we will all be resurrected at the last day.

Secondly, mothers who know understand that their outlook on life doesn’t change with their circumstances. They know that they serve God by being of good cheer.
Elder Holland recently spoke to a group of missionaries in Brazil and told them that one of the most broken commandments in the church is Christ’s command to “be of good cheer.” This is something that I have had to work on. We have lived in 6 different wards in the almost 9 years we’ve been married and consequently we have spent much of our time “being new” in our wards. While I am grateful for the friends I did make and the tender mercies of the Lord to me during those times, I have spent many months feeling very lonely. This loneliness is easily turned to depression. As I struggled with the Lord over this, I would argue that it’s not my fault that I don’t make friends easily, that I don’t have a vehicle to go visit people, or that no one is reaching out to me. Then my husband would kindly remind me that happiness is a choice. I have counted at least 11 instances in the scriptures when the Lord tells us something to the effect of “be of good cheer.” While I am not talking about grieving a loss, or true clinical depression that may need professional counseling or medication, I don’t believe the Lord qualifies his command only for when we are in good circumstances.

My heroine is Eve. In Moses chapter 5 we read that Adam and Eve have been driven out of the Garden of Eden. They have had to work for the first time in their lives. They have had the trials, the joys, and the heartaches of raising children. And in verse 11 it says, “Eve was glad, saying: Were it not for our transgression we never should have had seed, and never should have known good and evil, and the joy of our redemption, and the eternal life which God giveth unto all the obedient.” I love her sweet, cheerful testimony.

When Elder Holland visited those missionaries in Brazil he said sometimes when he is giving a talk, his wife will sit in the back of the church and make signs to him to smile because he has a serious-looking face. He said he will tell her afterwards “I am happy!” And she will reply, “Then tell that to your face!” When we love the Lord and are of good cheer, it should show in our face, just as Alma 5 says “have you received His image in your countenance?” Do you know someone that has received His image in their countenance? I can think of a couple people that always have a smile on their face and I always feel better after being around them.

Thirdly, mothers who know serve God by measuring their success by the Lord’s standards.
I think as women we are blessed with the desire to do good. Unfortunately, many times we place unrealistic expectations on ourselves because of those righteous desires. Instead of feeling good for what we can and do accomplish, we end up constantly feeling guilty and inadequate.

Not only do I feel guilty because I’m not doing all the important things my neighbors and visiting teachers are doing, I sometimes base my self-worth on my checklist. I have envisioned my perfect day. It would include: a clean house, baking bread, giving service, spending quality time with my kids, spending quality time with my husband, working on my calling, working in the garden, making 3 meals, checking my email, doing some family history work, calling my mom, reading a book, taking care of paperwork, going to the temple, and the list goes on. What makes you feel you have succeeded at the end of the day?

In the last general conference Bishop Keith B. McMullin said, “Duty does not require perfection, but it does require diligence. For members of the Church of Jesus Christ, our path of duty is keeping our covenants in daily life.” I love his phrasing that duty does not require perfection, but diligence. We need to let go of our perfectionism and focus on what’s important. Instead of relying on my checklist, I need to ask myself: Am I keeping my covenants?

And the truth of the matter is, we are inadequate. And when we stand before the bar of God, we will be judged guilty. Yet an Advocate has been provided for us. It is only through Him, who encourages and rewards our efforts, that we will be cleared of guilt and found worthy to be in the presence of God.

Finally, Mothers who know serve God by becoming handmaids of the Lord.
I recently made a list of my heroines. Some of them included my mother, Sister Marjorie Pay Hinckley, Eve the mother of all living, and Corrie Ten Boom who wrote the book “The Hiding Place.” In my opinion, these mothers are all worthy to be called the “handmaids of the Lord.” What are some of their characteristics? Among other Christ-like qualities, they have strong and immovable testimonies of Christ, they are of good cheer, and they measure their success by the Lord’s standards. Who are your heroes? What characteristics do they have that you would like to emulate?

In Matthew 27:55 it says “many women were there beholding afar off, which followed Jesus from Galilee, ministering unto him.” In contrast, Paul describes the perilous times of the last days in 2 Timothy and uses the phrase “silly women.” I have to say, although we have only been in the ward a few months, of all the women I have met in this ward, all of them are handmaids of the Lord, not “silly women.” I hope I will be known as a handmaid of the Lord. I want to minister to my Redeemer and Savior. I have a testimony that God the Father lives. That he sent His Only Begotten Son to be born in a simple stable and of some obscure mother. I have a testimony that as faithful women and mothers serve God, our families will be blessed for generations. I know that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God and that we have a living prophet today. I know the Book of Mormon is the word of God. I have a testimony that temples are the house of the Lord and that we come closer to Christ as we attend the temple often. I say this in the name of our Savior, Jesus Christ, Amen.

And as added bonus here's a link to some of my favorite talks on womanhood and motherhood:
Are We Not All Mothers?

Mothers Who Know

A "Mother Heart"

"Are You the Woman I Think You Are?"

5/6/2010 Six Impossible Things

Last month my honey and I had a weekend away from the kids, but not away from the home (one of those newfangled things called a staycation). Aren't grandparents great? As I was saying, my honey and I got to do lots of fun things just by our little selves and one thing we did was go to the movies. We saw Alice in Wonderland 3D. It. Was. Awesome. Of course, this comes from someone who was named after one of characters. Let me know if you can guess which one. Anyway, I just soaked up the film. I mean, can life get any better than Johnny Depp reciting one of the greatest poems ever written (Jabberwocky)?? And I loved the Mad Hatter's revelation that he always thinks of "six impossible things before breakfast." So, in the spirit of Wonderland, here are the six impossible things that are miraculously made possible in my life:

1. The fact that I still love that darling boy Wes even after he, in a fit of rage, deliberately cut my string of pearls and shattered our sliding glass door (2 separate occasions) .

2. The fact that my husband has put up with my cold shoulders, nagging, and crankiness for almost 9 years now. Love ya honeybunch!

3. The fact that I am guilty of so much, yet through my personal Advocate I can be saved from my sins and live with God.

4. Christ's resurrection from the dead and the fact that because of that, all who have ever lived on this earth will also be resurrected.

5. The fact that because of the Savior, people really can Change!

6. Eternal families.