I read the book "Free-Range Kids" by Lenore Skenazy a couple months ago. It had an impact on me as I read it, but I think the impact is becoming more and more pronounced as I continue to ponder the "free-range" concepts and try to act on what I am learning. My mind is swimming in the ideas of letting go of the need to control and to not fear the world. I feel like people today are afraid of so many things and sometimes it gets in the way of really living life. Last week I was driving in downtown Phoenix with a friend and she mentioned how she was scared driving there and she could never walk around in downtown, especially with her kids, because it's so dangerous. I didn't say anything, but I felt sad that her kids who were in the car basically heard her say that she was afraid of life. Is downtown Phoenix dangerous? Probably, I guess. But aren't we in danger of a car accident every time we get in the car?
Would I be scared to walk around a big city by myself? Probably, I guess. But sometimes you have to do what you have to do. I don't know what circumstances would put me there, but I would hope that if I ever walk around a big city by myself without cell phone or pepper spray that I would walk with my head up and my fear hidden and not admitted to my children. What do I teach my children when I act fearfully? That the world is a scary place, maybe? That they don't have what it takes to do hard things, maybe? That they shouldn't have confidence in themselves, maybe? That they shouldn't have faith in God or His plan for our lives, maybe?
And bringing these concepts to my everyday living is so liberating. I let Eva and Wes play around the corner where I can't see them. And I don't worry - the statistics just don't back up the fear. I let Eva and Wes eat food dropped on the floor. And I don't worry they'll get sick. I'm teaching them to go get something in the grocery store while I wait at the front. And I don't worry someone will snatch them. Maybe this is nothing new, but I've noticed so many times over the last few months where I've held my tongue instead of nod and agree when a friend mentions something fearful, such as only allowing their children to trick-or-treat to the handful of neighbors that they know.
Here's to hoping my children grow up to be confident, capable adults. And here's to hoping I'll survive the fear-mongering of the nightly news telling me of the dangers of letting my children eat raw cookie dough.
A note on "Free-Range Kids." Lenore earned the nickname "World's Worst Mom" (google it!) when she let her 9 year old ride the NY subway alone. She got such flak for it that she wrote a book about "giving our children the freedom we had without going nuts with worry." Although I don't agree 100% with everything in her book, I like how she encourages the reader to take steps to become more "free-range." I now follow her blog.
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